Making plans

You know what I've noticed? nothing....and I mean NOTHING ever goes according to plan. I've been writing life plans since I first picked up a pen- nothing exact, just rough outlines of where I want my life to go. Hell it's one of my favourite pastimes. Yes, I've had many a life plan jotted in my diary and each one falls through for one reason or another.

After realising my future travelling buddies wanted to wait a bit longer for the adventure than me (totally understandable considering they're both on track to have fantastic careers and want to focus on that right now) I have decided I will have to do it alone. I've decided not to do the 6 month around the world thing yet either, because frankly- I'll never have the money for that. So now I'm thinking just a month or two doing a volunteer project somewhere. Possibly Fiji or Thailand. Maybe I'll just leave and see where the metaphorical wind blows me. As long as it isn't Camberley I'll be happy. Then when I come home I want to move out. Possibly to Portsmouth with friends, possibly Brighton alone. I would like a beach to dream by and a city to play in. I need somewhere with a music scene and writing jobs. For some reason the notion of picking up my life, moving to a new city alone and starting again totally enthralls me. I think it would be so refreshing. Obviously I would keep in contact with everyone...but to just be somewhere new and make a new life for myself. God it would be good.

But as I said, nothing goes to plan. I'll probably end up in the north pole living with an Eskimo and his pet seal. So I have an even better plan. Stop planning and enjoy the present. I live in my head too much, planning and scheming for the future when I should be sitting back and enjoying what I'm doing today. What is that quote? "Happiness is not a destination, it's a way of travel." Very true. Must remember that. And I have enjoyed today- a day in bed with my boyfriend watching 'Leon' and eating Chinese. Life's too short to get carried away with plans.

That is all I have for today. Next time I promise to write about writing or jobs I have- this is supposed to be a writers blog not an online diary...I guess even that one didn't go to plan.

Happy Halloween kids

Beginning of the twist

Well, it's been a while since I've had a little type on here hasn't it? The reason? I got a new job and was chucked even further into my personal limbo with it. The job is at River Island. I'm back where I started, literally gone full circle on myself. I am now the 'menswear product manager', which basically means I'm in charge of making the menswear floor 'visually appealing' and merchandise their stock for optimum sales....I move clothes around and dress mannequins. I had three weeks of training in Guildford and ending up travelling in between my sisters (where I stayed) and my boyfriends. During this three weeks my sisters old room at home became transformed into my new room and my old room became a holding room for my vast amount of crap that I've accumulated over the years. So in short- I was living out of a suitcase without a room to call my own, training for a job I didn't want and learning to love public transport. Pretty much my limbo optimised.


I'm pleased, however, to report that things are starting to settle down now. I started my job (officially) yesterday in Camberely.....and actually quite enjoyed it. I'm planning on keeping my eye out for any writing jobs in Camberley and if anything fantastic comes along I will bid farewell to the world of retail finally. In the meantime I'm going to enjoy what I do and have fun with it- after all it isn't forever. And I know I'll enjoy it more when pay day finally arrives (God I've missed paydays). I will continue to write in my free time (have idea's for a new short story and am now officially a contributor to the 'Don't Panic Media' website) and will start FINALLY saving for my travelling adventures.


I have started to move myself into my new room and am starting to feel at home. And I can now use my day's off productively, I can write and write and write until my fingertips bleed. I can steal all of my boyfriends music, lie back and get my official education. Speaking of the lover and music, he came up with a great idea of us putting together a fanzine. It is probably a dying art form now, but with his immense musical knowledge and my not-completely-crap writing skills, I really think we could make something good. It would be a fun hobby whilst adding nicely to my portfolio. And hey, might even make some money! After that we'll open our own independent record store/coffee house.....then of course the record label.....



In the words of the beautiful Kate Hudson in 'Almost Famous': "It's all happening"

(I don't know why there's three pictures...I can't delete one of them....lets pretend it was intentional art....I hate technology- where's my typewriter?)

Bestest Bestival Bever

Well that was fun wasn't it? Finally had the proper muddy festival experience. And yes, I'm going to write all about it (you know you care...). Set off Thurs evening with some uni buds (Luke, James and Lucy) in Luke's tiny fiesta. Did I mention he passed his test a week ago? Oh and that he had a sense of impeding doom? Yeah, I feared for my life. But turned out he was a great driver and had a lovely journey despite being squished by piles of bags. (Ferry check in man to Luke- "Just the two of you yeah?" Luke- "No, there's two more in the back, under the stuff" Me and James- *muffled crys* Ferry man- "Oh wow, you guys alive yeah? haha, go on through.")

Anyway- we got there! Pitched our tents (thank you Luke for helping me, I'm not the camping type apparently...) and after settling in to our new homes promptly got told by security that we were camped in a 'fire lane' (?!) and had to move by ten the next morning or our tents would get chucked. So that was nice. I slept for about five minutes that night and wondered what I'd let myself in for as the rain and wind threatened to blow me and my tent away. Anyway, upped and moved the next morning to a new spot and got ready for day one of soggy madness. Day one rained. A LOT. Thankfully my mum (bless her) lent me a pink and purple waterproof which saved me from pneumonia, and gained me cudos for my retro 80's look. I love that the less you bother to look cool the cooler you evidently become. We wondered around the site looking in on various tents, had a little dance and raved on.

James found the hidden disco which turned out to be the best place to warm up, dry off and rave it up, we spent a lot of time in there! Me and Luke headed to the main stage to watch The Foals and Pendulum as the heavens opened up. But when you're jumping around to you're favourite songs- who gives a s**t? The weather did put a bit of a downer on us that evening and Luke and I seriously considered sleeping in his car (mmm, heaters) but we decided Luke should instead move into my tent (His tent was pretty wet and I needed another body to warm my tent up) and we both had a much better nights sleep.

I'm not going to ramble on about every detail, as I'm starting to bore myself already. So I'll stick to some highlights!!! Which were:

• Pendulum and Foals in the rain (quote, JJ- "When does it ever rain this much...ever?!")


• Every trip to the hidden disco


• The wicker mushroom!


• Our neighbours on the campsite who provided genius comedy every morning. I would write some quotes....but it would offend too many people. Haha.


• Seeing Laura Marling (front row)


• Dressing up Sat night and posing for photo's (Me: "What does a fish do?")


• James' epic walk home alone. (Random to James at the tent: "Man, I was with you all the way. That was epic, I've seen March of the Penguins...that had nothing on you. Highlight of my weekend dude!")


• All the cool people we met


• The last night, "Wellies!", Legal (but should be illegal!) highs and Underworld.


• All the quotes: 'Man up woman!', 'Man down!!!', 'Swig on...swig on'

The people I went with made it the bestest bestival and I love them all. Bring on next year :D

This is me......I'm a fish.

Even more determined....

I turned the shoe shop job down. I decided if I have to work in retail I would rather not pay for the pleasure (Travel costs to Guildford etc.). So I'm back to unemployed. Massive mistake or liberating accomplishment? Somewhere in between I think. I have since signed up to an agency who are determined to find me a job where I can use my degree. But how long will that take? A month? Two? I can't go any longer without a job. I have an interview for a management position at River Island tomorrow. I used to work there part-time. Is pretty much a massive step backwards, but right now I hardly have a choice do I?

On the plus side- I'm off to Bestival tomorrow evening to forget about work stress and find myself....in the hidden disco. I'm going to dress up as a clown fish (fancy dress theme is underwater), paint my face, drink too much and dance like a mental patient. Then I'm going to come back, sit in the bath for hours, sleep, cuddle up to my boyfriend and get offered a fantastic job. How exciting :)

Right now I have a pile of travel brochures just dying to be perused. So I think I'll put on some Laura Marling, flick through them and dream about the future. Because that is my favourite thing to do. That and dressing like fish apparently.

Determined

Right, so I've finally got a job. It's another shoe shop. It's not a manager position...or assistant manager....or even a supervisor. I'm just going to be an assistant, standing around looking desperately for a foot to dress. Fantastic. I haven't started yet and already I don't want to go, (could ya tell?). It just isn't what I want, but what is it they say about beggar's and choosing? Bloody sayings.

I've just applied for an amazing job in communications, the job spec sounds perfect for me. Maybe they will call me before I start at shoe land and save me from a year of commuting and desperate boredom. God I can feel the dull details of every day wearing me down already. I need a job where I can develop skills, build up experience, use my degree for something!! I want to be challenged everyday, I want to feel excited about projects- I want more than stock takes and sales chatter. I am going to get what I want, I've decided. Life is too short to waste on stop-gap jobs. Why not forge a career before travelling and then have a wealth of experience to draw on when I get back? It is such a shame I live where I do, Camberley isn't exactly alive with media jobs. We'll see.

Feeling determined this evening. I blame the CD I'm listening to (a 'gurr rock' mix CD my new boyfriend burnt me), it is amazing and really getting my blood pumping. I want to take over the world right now. I have a gorgeous new boyfriend, amazing friends with whom I'm having the best summer with, a festival to look forward to, a slight tan, more freelance music journalism work coming up....It would be wrong to muddy my good luck right now with a crappy job. I will go to my new job with professionalism and a smile- but I will continue to look for something that holds my interest. Because at the end of the day, as lovely as shoes are, they're just shoes..... and I don't want to turn into a girl that makes orgasm noises when she sees these:

God they're like Barbie's sex shoes.

The good times

This is one of those blogs written purely for blogging's sake. I'm happy today and I feel the need to share.....

Have had the best weekend with my girls. Went to London for the day for a friends birthday. It rained all day and I didn't buy anything, (getting poorer every day here kids), but I don't think I've laughed so much in a long time. From getting my hat caught in three umbrellas (yes, that's right THREE), giant cupcakes, Coca Cola floats, to a windswept tube ride and "Have it"- a fun day was had by all. It made me realise two things:

1) I have to live in London at some point

2) I love my friends more than anything

Nice realisations really. I just had one of those weeks where I felt truly relaxed for the first time in a long time. I wasn't panicking about career, future, love, life- I was happy and laughing all the way. And I have some more exciting things to look forward to: A 4th date (has been a while since I've had one of those), a holiday to Majorca (now officially booked and paid for) and Bestival festival (flowery tent, wellies and Laura Marling- heaven). So the remainder of my summer is looking really rather rose tinted at the moment. I know after the clouds will roll back in, I'll panic about my total lack of money or job opportunities. But hey, by then I might have found a pretty little job. It's all about positive thinking I have decided.

I will have a sweet remainder of summer.

I will laugh more and more and more.

I will get onto the 5th date.

And I will find a job that pays well and will set me up for my travelling adventures....

Anyway. I'm off- if anyone wants me I'll be here:

MUSACK

I Like music. I like it a lot. Recently I've found myself attatched to my laptop via headphones in the early hours of the morning. Sometimes I pretend to be reading, but usually I'm just listening and daydreaming little scenarios to match the musics pace. I know I should go to bed, I feel my little eye lids begging me to close them, but alas, I cannot leave the music. Someone (with excelent music taste) stole my i-pod when I was in Southampton, so now my only fix is from my laptop- much to the annoyance of my housemates. And by housemates I mean parents.



Anyway, the point of this blog is to write about music and tell you who I'm currently obsessing over (because I know you care...ahem). Anyway here is my list of lovelies you NEED in your life:

• Russell Joslin- My friend Zoe introduced me to this gem. His music is breathtaking. Blusey and Brilliant. Please, if you do one thing find his song 'Dirty Company' it will move even the stoniest of hearts. He's also on myspace with tracks ready to download: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=28379445

• Lyla Foy- Found her after stealing some freebies from the office of a magazine I did work experience for. She is folksy and fantastic. Her song 'Cinderella' is my favourite. She's on myspace too- just search for her.

• Laura Marling- Another gem from Zoe! She may possibly be the love of my musical life. She's collabarated with The Mystery Jets and Noah and The Whale (more on them later), Please listen to 'My Manic and I' and 'Night Terror' I implore you :)

• The Black Keys- Their new album is a keeper

• Micachu & The Shapes- Another steal from the freebie desk, find 'Golden Phone' very electro but cute at the same time

• Officer Kicks- Sent to me to review, 'Mona Lisa' is their best track, they're Britains answer to Kings of Leon. About time!

• Pendulum- We all know these guys, the new album has me in a trance. Best track is saved till the end in the form of 'The Tempest'

• Vampire Weekend- Their album might just become the soundtrack to my summer

These are just a few things I'm addicted to at the moment. I seem to be wavering between electro drumb n bass to blues-y folks-y summer-y tunes. It's all great stuff and makes me remember why I'm bothering to pursue a career in music journalism.

Last tip- Go search on youtube for the video from 'Noah and The Whale' for their song '5 years time' featuring Laura Marling is cute and summery and I love it :)

And here's a musical picture...just for kicks