Oneirology - the study of dreams
I have a tattoo on my ankle of the word 'somnio'. It means 'to dream' in Latin. I got it because I've always thought of myself as a dreamer, in every sense of the word. I almost always remember my night dreams, I can get lost in a sea of daydreams and I can while away hours dreaming of the future, what it'll look like and who'll be there at my side.
I've been thinking about dreams lately, and how our subconscious often does a much better job of telling you how you're feeling than your conscious. Here are some dreams I've been having a lot lately.
Teeth falling out
I had this one last night. I was losing my voice, unable to speak more than a whisper and then my tongue gently prodded at my bottom tooth. It easily flipped up out of my gum and I spat it onto my hand. Terrified, I felt the rest of my teeth with my tongue to check they were intact, and of course the gentlest of nudges simply pushed them free from my mouth.
Previous dreams of this nature involve my teeth crumbling, making me retch on the fragments, choking on myself.
What it means: According to Google this common dream can mean any of the following:
Transition (something in your life changing)
Insecurity (feeling like you aren't being treated right, doubting yourself)
Anxiety (scared of losing control/something important to you)
Sexual repression (Oh Freud, it's all about sex with you isn't it?)
Needing a toilet, but they are all too disgusting to use or don't have locks
Urgh, this is horrible. I find myself wandering labrynth-type buildings on the hunt to find a toilet, only to be met with ones that are so incredibly disgusting I can't use them. Or they'll have no lock, or no door. Or there'll be hoards of people watching. Not pleasant.
What it means: Apparently the bathroom is where one deals with their own 'crap' (ahem).
'When a dream states that the bathroom is dirty, full or back-flooded, then it means that process of addressing one’s own crap is amiss. It can also symbolise a lack of privacy in one’s life, but more often is a result of neglect on the part of the dreamer.'
When I know that I'm dreaming and can take control. If I'm in a scary dream, I can change the outcome or wake myself up. Sometimes, I'll have a little fly - just because I can.
What it means: According to Wikipedia - 'In Eastern thought, cultivating the dreamer's ability to be aware that he or she is dreaming is central to both the Tibetan Buddhist practice of dream Yoga, and the ancient Indian Hindu practice of Yoga nidra. The cultivation of such awareness was common practice among early Buddhists.'
I do have nice dream sometimes, but lately they seemed to be full of shadows and doubt. I've dreamt of past relationships, me driving cars I've never driven before to get away from them, failing to carry out simple tasks at work...
Ironically though, my daydreams are full of sunshine. I'm fabricating scenes from a desired future, willing them to manifest. I'm picturing the way my life will look and feeling an incredible sense of serenity and calm. It's like I'm in a storm, but I can see clear skies on the horizon.
There are people in my life right now going through their own personal storms and today I felt the weight of their clouds. For some, the storms are hurricanes... obliterating life as they knew it, making mine seem truly like a storm in teacup.
Regardless of the size or nature of these storms though, I think what I'm trying to say is that we all go through them. And that's the key bit - we go through them. We reach the other side, where the clear skies and sunshine are hanging out, blissfully unaware you were anywhere else.
My storm is my own creation, allowing stress to build and fuelling it with inactivity and wine. Next week I've got a break in Cornwall to look forward to. I will breathe the sea air, look to the clouds above and take in my surroundings, whatever the weather.