Friday, 18 September 2015

30 things to (not) do before 30

In just under six months I will be turning 30, an age which has become quite the milestone for many. There seems (in my opinion) to be a common thought that rattles around the heads of those about to turn 30...

Shouldn't I have my shit together by now?

Apologies to any readers who do, in fact, have their shit together - this post isn't for you (oh and congrats). I suspect it is this thought that's responsible for those '30 things to do before turning 30' lists people make. Like a bucket list of things you want to do/achieve before turning 30 (even though, hopefully, you won't be dying at 30).

In my younger days I would have been SO up for doing this. I loved a checklist. As I've gotten older however, I've come to kind of hate them. I still love lists and setting the odd goal, but the idea of having to complete a checklist before a certain age makes me cringe a little. 

I see self-improvement as an ongoing thing and something I want to take my time with. I also don't like the fact that a lot of the things on those '30 before 30' lists are to do with society's expectations - 'have a baby', 'buy a house' etc.

I just think they put a bit too much pressure on you to reach a 'criteria'. So instead, I thought I'd write up a list of things I won't be doing before I turn 30 (take that society!). Some I've come up with myself, some have come from other people's lists and websites. Here goes nothing (ha, literally):

30 things to not do before 30

1. Buy a house - I've covered this in a recent post, but yeah I can't buy a house now. I do however love my rented flat! It's pretty and feels like home to me :)

2. Get married - I think it may be considered a bit forward if I propose to the guy I've been seeing for a month. Even more forward to demand a wedding in five months... Nah, better leave that one. 

3. Have a baby - Even if I got pregnant like, now, that isn't physically possible. Besides, there's no room for a baby in the flat.

4. Run a marathon - I will happily support my friends who are planning to run marathons (go Mike and Em!) but I will be doing so on the sidelines, probably with a slice of cake. 

5. Run anything - Yeah, I don't like running.

6. Become fluent in another language - Habla un poco Espanol, is that not good enough? (that spanish is probably wrong)

7. Climb a mountain - Those guys on the trailer for 'Everest' look like they had a bad time.

8. Go blonde - My hair is bronde (blonde-y brown) and I get all pale and ghost-like whenever I try to go too dark or light. How very boring.  

9. Lose 10lbs - If I did this I would probably lose my butt and boobs. And I quite like my butt and boobs.

10. Write a book - I know, I know, I'm a "writer" shouldn't I want to write a book? Maybe one day. A very short one. Online. Like a blog! Oh wait... 

11. Travel the world - There's a whole lot of world out there bruh, why the rush?

12. Skydive - I don't really like being on planes, let alone jumping out of them.

13. Do a bungee jump - If I need an adrenaline rush I'll look at how much student debt I have left to pay, thanks. 

14. Pull an all-nighter - I can barley make it through a Saturday without a nap, let alone drink/dance till dawn.

15. Get a new job - No, shan't. I like my job thanks *smugface*.

16. Learn to paint - I have a colouring book for adults and a pack of colouring pencils... I'm set.

17. Get a(nother) tattoo - I have enough ink for the time being thanks, I'm sure I'll get more after 30 though *cough* sleeve *cough*.

18. Learn how to knit/crochet - Umm, I have nothing clever to say about this one. I'm just lazy.

19. Get a piercing - Been there, done that and I have the scarring to prove it. Don't need any more scar tissue thanks. 

20. Start a business - It just sounds like a LOT of effort.

21. Invent something - Again.... effort.

22. Fire a gun - This was actually on someone's list. I hope I don't need to write an explanation as to why I won't be doing that.

23. Troll a celebrity - Again, legitimately on a list I found online, Internet you suck. 

24. Live abroad - I would never rule this out for the future, but alas I don't think it will happen this side of 30.   

25. Be a fashion victim - Another odd one I found on someone's list. Their justification was that after 30 you are basically too old to wear clothes that are deemed 'fashionable'. I say wear whatever the hell you like. 

26. Make a million - I would have to do some very questionable/illegal things to make that much money that quickly.

27. 'Find yourself' - Thankfully I have this wonderful contraption called a 'mirror' which I can use whenever I lose myself - hey, there I am! *waves*

28. Get Botox - I don't judge anyone who goes down this route, it's just not for me. I like moving my face.

29. Break a world record - Unless it's for 'most sarcastic 30 before 30 list in the world'.

30. Make a list of 40 things to do before 40 - I won't need to. I'll definitely have my shit together by then, right?  

What will you not be doing before 30?


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