taming butterflies

This week I have been scared. And by that I mean, more scared than normal. I don't suffer from panic attacks, I don't have an anxiety disorder, but man do I get a mean case of the butterflies. To an outsider butterflies may seem frivilous and weak, but to me they are ferocious.

When I was younger I loved horror films, roller coasters and climbing trees. But now I'm older and wiser, I'm more afraid. I'm pretty sure if I passed my driving test at 17 I would be cruising all over the place without a care in the world, but at 27? It makes me pretty anxious driving without a second pair of eyes looking out for me. This anxiety usually dissipates once I get going and I remember that I am perfectly capable of driving, but for those few minutes in the interim I find it hard to breathe.

Annoyingly for me, when I get anxious my body lets me know via headaches, palpitations and a pissed off digestive system (all of which I've been quietly battling this week). So, rather than sit around complaining about it - I grabbed all the tools available to me. This is what helps me tame the butterflies:

Exercise - it can really help to channel that nervous energy into something physical.

Yoga - offering you time to breathe, stretch and focus only on what your body is doing, yoga is often my saviour.

Mindfulness - when things get overwhelming I root myself in the present and concentrate on what's going on around me. I need more practice with this, but it is really helpful.

I know my anxiety about driving will ease as I get more experienced and I hope that these tools will keep me calm in the meantime. I should also point out that alongside this anxious feeling I get about driving is a feeling of exhiliration. No more waiting for the bus in the rain. No more phone calls to my dad for a 'lift'. It is awesome and I know that, I'm just battling through a few butterflies to get there.

Do you have any butterfly-taming tips?

growing up

This week... has been a good week. The best part was probably (definitely) yesterday when I passed my driving test with just two minors. And I had a parallel park, the most fear-inducing manoeuvre of all manoeuvres. The first time I took the test I was a bag of nerves and made one silly mistake that lead to me failing. This time it would appear luck, and confidence, were on my side. 

Being a 27 year old woman who lives with her parents and can't drive really messes with your head. There are times when I look at how successful other people my age are and wonder - what the hell did I do wrong? But you know what I've come to realise - I was figuring myself out. I went to university, got a degree and spent a year living like a student after it was over (and somehow managed to have an awesome time living with friends on a pitiful retail manager's wage). After that I saved to travel to Thailand. After that I fought for years to get a writing job, and eventually, one year ago - I got it.

Now I feel I can take control of those missing bits that make you feel like a 'grown up'. I learnt to drive. I'm planning to move out with the love of my life. I drink tea and coffee now (and I'm trying to like red wine and olives).

So, yeah - it may have taken me a bit longer to get here than most people, but I think for the first time in my adult life I can safely say, it's all starting to come together.

Other things I did this week:

drank yummy coffee in Guildford

went on Pinterest more than I would like to admit

took the healthy option when it came to pudding (greek yoghurt, blueberries & honey)

saw some candy floss skies

How was your week? 

this week

Has anyone else found it incredibly difficult to pull themselves out of hibernation mode from Christmas? Well, this week I finally dragged my ass out of it. I've started exercising and practicing yoga again, I'm blogging again (obvs) and I've pushed my driving test forward so I can finally get it done and out of the way. On top of all that productiveness, I've also done the following:

went out for lunch with my love and enjoyed an elderberry fizz

got inspired by Oh Comely magazine

caught a glimpse of my mum's past life in Jamaica

wore my lovely necklace I got for Christmas

watched lots of Grey's Anatomy and cried (a lot)

used some sleep balm to help me drift off to sleep

ate lots of blueberries

I also downloaded an album by Piers Faccini because I heard this amazing song on an episode of Grey's:

 What did you do?

guess who's back...

Yeah, I'm back. For how long? Who the hell knows. All I know is that I miss writing for fun, for myself - and I want to start doing it again. And my trusty blog Limbo, with it's trendy handwritten fonts and illustrated versions of me is where I'll be doing it.

I've come to the realisation that I am not a fashion blogger. As hard as I may have tried in the past - documenting my outfits and trying to think up witty post titles just isn't my bag. I love reading these kinds of blogs, don't get me wrong, I just found it exhausting trying to do it myself. I also felt as if I was spending too much time trying to look like I was having an awesome life - rather than actually living one.

So that's what I've been doing since my last post - living life. I've been working, playing, laughing, kissing, crying - all that jazz. Sometimes I take photos of it (Instagram: @katnicholls), sometimes I forget. For now, I'm just committing to writing a blog once a week (probably Fridays) telling you about my week and possibly slipping in a bit of creative writing/rambling.

We'll see where it goes.

I'm not sure if anyone will bother reading this anymore and I don't expect anyone to. I'm kinda treating it like a diary for now and if anyone wants to take a peek and join in - that's great.

First proper post will be on Friday, maybe I'll see you then?

favourite apps

Recently I have been rather enjoying my apps, so I thought I'd share a few I'm currently using. I won't go into detail about the obvious Facebook, Instagram, Twitter apps, because I'm sure most of us are aware of what these are ;)

Organisation:

'Any Do'

This little 'to-do' app has become part of my daily routine to remind me when I have driving lessons, any errands I need to run and even to prompt me to workout! I think the main reason I like it is its simplicity, all you do is type in what you need to do and cross it off where your done - the number of things you need to do will appear on your home screen as a gentle reminder.

Photography:

'A Beautiful Mess' 

 I'm sure you've all heard of this new app! I've only just started playing with it but am loving the idea. Made by the creators of A Beautiful Mess blog, the app allows you to add pre-made doodles and text over your photos to prettify them. My only issue is the 'samey-ness' of it all, I'm slightly worried all of our photos are going to look cloned...

'1 Second Everyday'

Now, I haven't actually started using this app, but a friend of mine has and I love the concept. You video 1 second of your life every day for as long as you like (a year is recommended) and the app helps you edit them together into one seriously cool video. I'm not sure when I'm going to start this, but the app looks nice and easy to use!

Lifestyle:

'Yoga Studio'

I'm going to go into my yoga practice in another blog, but so far - this is the app I've been using when practicing at home. There are lots of different classes to follow, ranging from beginner to advanced and from 15 minutes to 60 minutes. Some of the moves are repeated a lot, but I have learned some new moves and I find it makes home practice so much easier. You can even go in and create your own classes if you want!

'Fig'

This app is great for motivation. It allows you to collate a list of activities you want to turn into habits and then document your progress. Some of mine include exercising, spend time with friends, avoid sugary drinks and even do a good deed! There is a list of pre-made goals included, but you can also create your own. You can join in the 'fig' community and allow people to see your activities, but I've chosen to keep mine private.

'Headspace'

This is another new app for me and I've only just started using it. It is basically an introduction to meditation and mindfullness, starting you off with 10 minutes of meditation a day, for 10 days. The guided meditations so far are not at all what I expected (thank god) no twinkly music or chanting involved here - just being aware of your body and thoughts in an attempt to slowly train and quiet the mind. I really like the approach they take to meditation and I'm looking forward to finishing the 10 days!

So there you go, just a few of my favourite apps at the moment! Do you use any of these? Any others you would recommend?

resolution round up

driving DVDs, home cooked meals, yoga mat and workout plan

Hands up if you made some New Year's resolutions this year? Now how many of you remember what they were and are tracking your progress? If you're anything like me in previous years, by now you would have either totally forgotten about them or kept them way in the back of your mind as something you'll 'get to' when you get the chance.

This year I wanted to really make an effort; maybe it's because I'm in my late 20's now, or maybe it's because overall I feel pretty happy and settled and that now is the time to finally get these things done! Either way, I told myself every four months I would check in with myself and see how I'm doing with my resolutions. 

so.... here's where I'm at:

learn to drive

As soon as Christmas and New Year were out the way I got my provisional licence. I've started lessons, studied a bit of theory and am looking to buy a car in May so I can practice driving between lessons. So far, I've really enjoyed learning! It's not quite as scary as I had anticipated, but at the moment I'm frustrated at how slowly I seem to be progressing (I've always been a bit inpatient when it comes to learning), but I'm hoping by buying a car and practising more I'll start to see progress. My goal is to be driving by Autumn, at the very latest.

get healthy

As I've mentioned in a previous post, this is going really well. I've changed things up recently by doing high intensity cross fit workouts (where you incorporate cardio and strength exercises) and yoga five days a week. My eating is pretty on point during the week and I'm letting myself have the odd blowout meal during the weekend. Loving being in a routine with it now and genuinely feel so much better for it, it's crazy how 'addicted' to exercise you can get...

cook more

Ahhh, there's always one resolution I struggle with. This year it's 'cook more'. I love watching Masterchef, I love eating out and I appreciate well cooked food - but ask me to prepare something from scratch and I lose all interest. I've cooked a couple of times so far this year (including a flawed but yummy prawn pasta dish for Valentines day), but I know this is the resolution I really need to work on.

look after my finances

This has gone pretty well, I've managed to save for a car and feel pretty confident I will be able to continue saving, just trying to reign in my spending at the weekends and to spend wisely on things that will benefit me, i.e driving lessons, workout clothes and cook books ;)

Are you working on any resolutions this year? Do you check in with yourself every now and then to see how you're doing?

just a minute april

Writing: Lots of content for our new photography website at work, covering things like photography projects and travel photography - loving it! 

Trying: Tea - I've never been a tea drinker but after enjoying a rather tasty cuppa at work recently I've decided to give fruit and herbal teas a go and see how I get on (I know, I'm so rock and roll!)

Watching: TV - Masterchef | Film - Trance

Listening: First Aid Kit

Buying: Strawberry & lime ciders, birthday presents for my love, ale trains and long weekends - lush.

Loving: The few scattered days of sunshine we've had this month, roll on summer :)

How is your April going?