taming butterflies

This week I have been scared. And by that I mean, more scared than normal. I don't suffer from panic attacks, I don't have an anxiety disorder, but man do I get a mean case of the butterflies. To an outsider butterflies may seem frivilous and weak, but to me they are ferocious.

When I was younger I loved horror films, roller coasters and climbing trees. But now I'm older and wiser, I'm more afraid. I'm pretty sure if I passed my driving test at 17 I would be cruising all over the place without a care in the world, but at 27? It makes me pretty anxious driving without a second pair of eyes looking out for me. This anxiety usually dissipates once I get going and I remember that I am perfectly capable of driving, but for those few minutes in the interim I find it hard to breathe.

Annoyingly for me, when I get anxious my body lets me know via headaches, palpitations and a pissed off digestive system (all of which I've been quietly battling this week). So, rather than sit around complaining about it - I grabbed all the tools available to me. This is what helps me tame the butterflies:

Exercise - it can really help to channel that nervous energy into something physical.

Yoga - offering you time to breathe, stretch and focus only on what your body is doing, yoga is often my saviour.

Mindfulness - when things get overwhelming I root myself in the present and concentrate on what's going on around me. I need more practice with this, but it is really helpful.

I know my anxiety about driving will ease as I get more experienced and I hope that these tools will keep me calm in the meantime. I should also point out that alongside this anxious feeling I get about driving is a feeling of exhiliration. No more waiting for the bus in the rain. No more phone calls to my dad for a 'lift'. It is awesome and I know that, I'm just battling through a few butterflies to get there.

Do you have any butterfly-taming tips?

growing up

This week... has been a good week. The best part was probably (definitely) yesterday when I passed my driving test with just two minors. And I had a parallel park, the most fear-inducing manoeuvre of all manoeuvres. The first time I took the test I was a bag of nerves and made one silly mistake that lead to me failing. This time it would appear luck, and confidence, were on my side. 

Being a 27 year old woman who lives with her parents and can't drive really messes with your head. There are times when I look at how successful other people my age are and wonder - what the hell did I do wrong? But you know what I've come to realise - I was figuring myself out. I went to university, got a degree and spent a year living like a student after it was over (and somehow managed to have an awesome time living with friends on a pitiful retail manager's wage). After that I saved to travel to Thailand. After that I fought for years to get a writing job, and eventually, one year ago - I got it.

Now I feel I can take control of those missing bits that make you feel like a 'grown up'. I learnt to drive. I'm planning to move out with the love of my life. I drink tea and coffee now (and I'm trying to like red wine and olives).

So, yeah - it may have taken me a bit longer to get here than most people, but I think for the first time in my adult life I can safely say, it's all starting to come together.

Other things I did this week:

drank yummy coffee in Guildford

went on Pinterest more than I would like to admit

took the healthy option when it came to pudding (greek yoghurt, blueberries & honey)

saw some candy floss skies

How was your week? 

this week

Has anyone else found it incredibly difficult to pull themselves out of hibernation mode from Christmas? Well, this week I finally dragged my ass out of it. I've started exercising and practicing yoga again, I'm blogging again (obvs) and I've pushed my driving test forward so I can finally get it done and out of the way. On top of all that productiveness, I've also done the following:

went out for lunch with my love and enjoyed an elderberry fizz

got inspired by Oh Comely magazine

caught a glimpse of my mum's past life in Jamaica

wore my lovely necklace I got for Christmas

watched lots of Grey's Anatomy and cried (a lot)

used some sleep balm to help me drift off to sleep

ate lots of blueberries

I also downloaded an album by Piers Faccini because I heard this amazing song on an episode of Grey's:

 What did you do?

guess who's back...

Yeah, I'm back. For how long? Who the hell knows. All I know is that I miss writing for fun, for myself - and I want to start doing it again. And my trusty blog Limbo, with it's trendy handwritten fonts and illustrated versions of me is where I'll be doing it.

I've come to the realisation that I am not a fashion blogger. As hard as I may have tried in the past - documenting my outfits and trying to think up witty post titles just isn't my bag. I love reading these kinds of blogs, don't get me wrong, I just found it exhausting trying to do it myself. I also felt as if I was spending too much time trying to look like I was having an awesome life - rather than actually living one.

So that's what I've been doing since my last post - living life. I've been working, playing, laughing, kissing, crying - all that jazz. Sometimes I take photos of it (Instagram: @katnicholls), sometimes I forget. For now, I'm just committing to writing a blog once a week (probably Fridays) telling you about my week and possibly slipping in a bit of creative writing/rambling.

We'll see where it goes.

I'm not sure if anyone will bother reading this anymore and I don't expect anyone to. I'm kinda treating it like a diary for now and if anyone wants to take a peek and join in - that's great.

First proper post will be on Friday, maybe I'll see you then?